And if you think THAT'S! Funny... For my next joke... I am running for President of the United States of AmericaAs vice president, "Funny Man" Al Gore learned that the most disarming way to counter his wooden image was to tell better jokes about himself than the late-night comedians did. Mr. Gore now says he received occasional tutoring on those one-liners from the master of the television monologue, Johnny Carson. Mr. Gore said he had telephoned Mr. Carson on several occasions in the mid-1990's to seek his guidance on "timing and delivery." "He let me call him up and bounce jokes off him and he would give me advice on the presentation of gags," said Mr. Gore, who said he had initially approached the retired "Tonight Show" host through a mutual friend. "It was such a privilege." Mr. Gore said that Mr. Carson, who died in January, had even given him a couple of jokes. But Mr. Carson's greatest contribution, Mr. Gore said, came in 1994, when over the telephone he walked Mr. Carson through a skit he intended to do before a black-tie Washington dinner known as the Gridiron. The idea, Mr. Gore said, was that he would be wheeled onto the dais on a hand truck, ramrod straight, and would slowly be cranked to his feet by "two guys in Acme delivery costumes." "I told Johnny about it, and he said, 'Oh that's great,' " Mr. Gore recalled. "He said, 'When you do it, make sure to wait till they stop laughing.' " To his delight, Mr. Gore said, the bit killed. "Part of the shtick on me in those days was that I was stiff," Mr. Gore added, laughing. "I like to think it's passed, but it's not." I will buy a TV channel and tell every one I won't broadcast partisan politics. Thats funny!