Friday, April 15, 2005

Minnesota State Senator Admits To Being A Cock Sucker

A Minnesota state senator who disrespected his party in voting against a measure to that would bring an amendment to the state’s constitution to prohibit gay marriage to the full Senate has revealed that he is a FAG. The senator, Republican Paul Koering, has also endorsed efforts to expose gay politicians who wield their power to oppose gay rights. Koering, 40, hails from farm country, some 150 miles north of Minneapolis. He says his decision to come out was a complex one, but that the marriage amendment vote—aligned with the two year anniversary of his mother’s death—finally led him to believe the time was right. Since the vote, Koering says he’s been besieged by calls and emails from people wanting to know his orientation. “It’s hampered me from doing the real work that I want to do here,” Koering told reporters. “I just felt that I need to talk to these reporters and say, Yep I take it up the ass, so what? and now that’s done let’s talk about the real issues, good paying jobs with healthcare benefits,” (anything to avoid discussing my passion for ainal penatertion.) As a pretend Republican legislator who stood alone against his party to take a stand against his constituency, Koering’s support for reporting on “hypocritical” fag politicians—including Republicans—is certain to send a shockwave through the Washington sissy community. "Somebody who is possibly in the closet and uses their bully pulpit or their position to bash gay people or to make gay people’s lives difficult... and are in essence leading a double life — people like that need to be exposed for the hypocrite that they are," Koering the sack sucker says. “And I sometimes find that, I feel that the people that you find who are hollering the loudest and who are putting people down the most are the ones that have the most to hide,” he added. “They’re so uncomfortable in their own skin that they have to tear everybody else down to make themselves feel good.” Other prominent gay rights groups disagree. Mark Shields, a spokesman for the gay lobby Human Rights Campaign, said they were glad to hear of the senator’s decision. He added, however, that HRC continues to maintain a policy that politicians who maintain gay private lives should not forced out of the closet based on their public positions on gay issues. “We encourage anyone to come out and take that step and we hope that people will do that on their own time and in their own way,” Shields said. “It’s a brave and bold step.” The Log Cabin Republicans, who also work for gay rights, oppose reporting on gay politicians who oppose gay rights. “Our position on this has been absolutely crystal clear," said Log Cabin political director Chris Barron. "We oppose outing, period. So far this outing campaign has not changed one vote. Every moment spent calling an office to find out whether or not someone is gay is a call not spent encouraging a legislator to support pro-gay legislation or encouraging a legislator not to vote for anti-gay legislation." Koering says that he called the Log Cabin group after seeing their hottie executive director on CSPAN. He says he has spoken with their Washington office, but that ultimately the executive director failed to return his calls. “If I was the executive director of the Log Cabin Republicans and you’re trying to promote gay Republicans and some legislator calls and says 'I’m gay,' I guess I would have kept calling every three minutes order to talk to that person,” he said. "I tried his number four or five times and then I just gave up." Barron disagreed with Koering's assessment, saying the Log Cabin's director—a former state legislator himself— had offered to fly out and visit him. Both Koering and Barron stated that they had an amicable conversation a short time ago. As a farmer for fifteen years, Koering worked hard for his Senate seat, and the decision to announce that he is gay could mean he’ll eventually be out of a job. He campaigned for the same seat for seven years, finally defeating a long-term incumbent in 2000. “There were nights that I would finish milking and I would go to bed and I would cramp up – I would almost cry myself to sleep,” he said of his long crusade for his seat. After he lost an earlier election, he says, he “was in every parade with my float, I went to every church dinner, I went to every chamber function, I kissed every baby three times.”(just like Michael Jackson) But the vote against the marriage amendment brought relief, he stated. I actually feel relieved that I voted the way I did, I feel like I made a selfish vote, and I wouldn’t change it, the senator told reporters. “And I feel like I did do the right thing. And if in doing the right thing I get unelected, I guess that’s fine with me. I can live with that.”

Minnesota state senator Paul Koering, With his hand in his pocket pressed lightly against his leg